Jennie Garth is choosing herself in more ways than one.

The veteran star, best known for her work on Beverly Hills, 90210, leaned into the mantra to inspire a new podcast and memoir I Choose Me: Chasing Joy, Finding Purpose, and Embracing Reinvention. To promote the projects, she sat for a revelatory People magazine cover story that dishes on her breakout role, a crushing divorce from Peter Facinelli, miscarriages and the shock of losing co-star Luke Perry.

Commenting on the tidal wave of fame delivered by Beverly Hills, 90210, Garth likened it to “being in the Beatles,” adding, “There was no preparation for it. It was scary and unknown for all of us, and it was like sink or swim, just survive and figure it out as you go. It was major on-the-job training.”

Also while on the job, Garth found herself literally “falling” for Perry, who played her love interest on the Aaron Spelling series. “Everyone imagined him as their first true love, but it really was confusing. It got a little blurry at times. There were a lot of intimate conversations and moments between these two characters, and I got caught up in it and I allowed myself to think that it was real,” she explained of the Kelly and Dylan dynamic on the iconic ‘90s TV show. “I still believe that there was something real there. We had a very special relationship.”

After the show went off the air and they went their separate ways, Garth said they “became just really great friends.” Following a massive stroke, Perry died at age 52 on March 4, 2019. His death left her “paralyzed, unable and unwilling to speak” per the book. “It was too big to comprehend, to devastating to accept.”

Also challenging to overcome was a 2013 split from fellow actor Facinelli. “I spent a good amount of years being hurt, sad, just tormented by it, and it eked out into all aspects of my life,” Garth told People. The spiral led her to a fateful night during which she abused alcohol and swallowed enough pills to warrant having her stomach pumped. After the shocking incident, she checked into Canyon Ranch rehab.

“I noticed my light really dimming. I wasn’t putting off good vibes. I could see it in the mirror. I could look at the negative impact that that kind of grief and anger was having on me. And there was a weird switch where one day I just said, ‘I don’t want to carry this anymore. It’s impacting my relationships and how I feel about myself. I’ve got to let it go. I’ve got to forgive him,’” said Garth, who tells People that she is now sober.

Garth’s memoir, from Harper Collins’ imprint Park Row, will debut April 14. And the cover story, published Wednesday, details how she found peace after several painful miscarriages and an IVF journey with actor Dave Abrams. “Even though it took a while, I’m finally at a place comfortable choosing myself,” she said.