Winning your first individual Olympic medal is a moment worth celebrating. It’s a colossal achievement beyond most people’s wildest dreams. It is not, however, an opportunity to confess to cheating on someone and attempt to win them back in front of the entire world.

On Tuesday, Sturla Holm Lægreid won his first individual Olympic medal in the 20-kilometre individual biathlon in the Winter Olympics in Milan-Cortina.

Shortly after winning, Lægreid gave an interview to Norwegian broadcaster NRK, divulging that he had been unfaithful to his now ex-girlfriend and that he had told her one week ago. The confession exploded on social media and even the most cursory glances at the comments reveal that the internet is almost unanimously not on his side.

“Six months ago I met the love of my life — the most beautiful and kindest person in the world. Three months ago I made my biggest mistake and cheated on her,” Lægreid said, breaking down mid-confession.

“I had the gold medal in life, and I am sure there are many people who will see things differently, but I only have eyes for her,” he continued. “Sport has come second these last few days. Yes, I wish I could share this with her.”

Why share this very private information with the world, you may well be wondering? Lægreid later elaborated on his reasons for doing so in an interview with Norwegian newspaper VG.

“My only way to solve it is to tell everything and put everything on the table, and hope that she can still love me,” he said.

“I’ve done that for her, and now for the whole world. I have nothing to lose,” he added. “I want to be a good role model, but I have to admit when I make mistakes.”

Lægreid didn’t stop talking, though. In yet another interview, he said he had not received a response from his ex-girlfriend. “I haven’t got any reactions from the girl that I mentioned,” he said during an Olympic press conference. “I’m happy because maybe she hasn’t seen it, maybe she will see it at the right time. I hope I don’t make anything worse for her.”

“I hope there’s a happy ending in the end,” he said.

Firstly, she has almost certainly seen it. Secondly, there’s a high risk that going public in this way will make the situation worse for her. Thirdly, expressing the hope of a “happy ending” now puts additional pressure on his ex. And commenters are commenting.

“This is emotional manipulation packaged as a grand gesture,” reads one comment on the BBC Sport Instagram Reel of Lægreid’s follow-up interview. “The happy end is: she won’t forgive him!” declares one comment on the same post, which received over 15K likes. “If guilttripping were olympic, he’d win gold,” writes another commenter.

TikTokkers have started posting. Podcasters too.

“It’s hard to forgive. Even after a declaration of love in front of the whole world. I did not choose to be put in this position, and it hurts to have to be in it.”

The problem with televised declarations of remorse is that they expose the wronged party to the court of public opinion, a court that has already delivered its verdict. And yeah, it’s not looking good for Lægreid.

By opening this story up to the press and social media, Laegreid has invited further attention to the already painful situation. VG, for one press outlet, said it “has been in contact with Holm Lægreid’s former girlfriend. She wishes to remain anonymous in this matter, a request VG has accepted as she has not sought publicity regarding a private matter.” VG later reported that Lægreid’s former girlfriend had provided a written statement: “It’s hard to forgive. Even after a declaration of love in front of the whole world. I did not choose to be put in this position, and it hurts to have to be in it,” she wrote. “We have had contact and he is aware of my opinions on this.” When asked by VG, Lægreid declined to comment on her response.

Perhaps Lægreid thought this would come off as a romantic gesture to grovel for forgiveness at the expense of his own reputation. For all we know, he may have exhausted all other private options for communicating his remorse. I’ve heard tales of guys who’ve been blocked by all means of communication, so they resort to trying to contact their exes on Vinted or via transferring small sums of money (we’re talking pennies) over bank transfer along with the word “sorry” as the payment reference. These acts of desperation are almost always unwanted. And in many cases, they are intrusive and manipulative.

This private pain has now been turned into public internet fodder. But, what about the woman who might be sitting at home nursing a broken heart, who now has to deal with the additional pressure to react, respond, or even acknowledge his apology?

If this woman were to take him back, she would also face the judgement of large swaths of the internet which is currently imploring her to not give him another chance. Conversely, she may also be judged if she chooses not to respond further. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Whether he wanted to or not, Lægreid may have added to this woman’s pain and has placed her in a difficult, public position.

It’s only been a week since she learned of his betrayal and this woman could still be processing hurt feelings. Even if she were to take him back — heavy emphasis on the ‘if’ here — it would probably take a hell of a lot longer than one week for her to reach a point of even considering that.

Let the record state: it is perfectly acceptable — and dare-I-say advisable — to ignore this gesture. We all make mistakes in life and some of those inflict real emotional pain on people. But these are sensitive conversations which should happen in private, behind closed doors. You can’t force someone to forgive you. Send her an email instead. And if she doesn’t respond, you need to respect that silence.

Lægreid later released a statement expressing regret for his confession:

“I deeply regret that I brought up this personal story on what was a festive day for Norwegian biathlon. I am not quite myself today, and I am not thinking clearly,” he wrote in a statement published by VG.

“My apologies go to Johan-Olav, who deserved all the attention after the gold. It also goes to my ex-girlfriend, who involuntarily ended up in the media spotlight, I hope she is doing well. I can’t change this, but I will now put this behind me and focus on the Olympics. I will not answer any further questions about this.”

I hope that this woman has turned off her phone and gone to a spa with some supportive friends. It’s time to log off.