16.

“I’m the side guy, or one of them. We’re both in our third year of university and have been hooking up since the end of our first year. She has this on-and-off high school boyfriend, that she is totally convinced she is going to marry and is unmistakably in love with. But since she’s in college and he doesn’t attend school here, she has needs and such that he can’t fill while they are apart. So, here I am, part-time side guy who is the untitled guy in her life who gives her sex and attention and cuddles while he’s away and can’t.”

“I don’t feel the need to go into too much detail here, but the sex is great; it’s passionate, we have great chemistry together, and we are both understanding and good at communicating what we want/don’t want.

She has made it very clear she doesn’t want a relationship, and while I have respected that, it still hasn’t prevented me from catching some pretty heavy feelings. Toward the end of last year, I was getting rather delusional and caught up in my feelings for her. After the semester ended and we went to our respective hometowns, she pretty much put me in her back pocket and, for the most part, ignored me. That hit me really fucking hard, and most of the summer was quite painful. 

Now that we’re back at school we’ve hung out and hooked up once or twice. I don’t know what to do. I hate feeling like I’m wasting my time because I have such strong feelings for her, yet I want someone who wants me for me instead of just for sex.

So, to be quite honest, I’m the side guy because I have needs, too; couple that with a desire for affection that I’m not getting anywhere else. I power through the heartbreak because it’s better to feel something than nothing at all.”

—unimportantbeing