This week the Pew Research Center published a study about how parents managed screen time for their kids 12 and under. The results were not particularly surprising (or enlightening, if we’re being honest). A full 90 percent of parents said their children watched TV, and 61 percent said their kids interact with smartphones at least on occasion. Somewhat surprisingly, only 50 percent said they let them play a game console of some kind. While 42 percent of respondents said they could do better managing their kids’ screen time, 86 percent did say they had rules around screens, even if they didn’t always stick to them.

What you won’t find in the Pew study, however, are what those rules are. That a certain percentage of parents “ever” let their kids watch TV doesn’t tell us useful information like, how long they watch, what they watch, or how parents are making sure they’re not watching anything inappropriate.

With my eight-year-old we’ve implemented a sort of barter system that I borrowed from Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism. They start each week with 10 tokens, worth a total of $5 or five-hours of screen time. They can earn additional time or money by reading. How they use that time is largely up to them, they can play Minecraft or watch shows on their children’s accounts on Disney+, Netflix, or Paramount+. They also have access to a few music making apps and games on their iPad. But we don’t allow them unfettered access to the iPad.

Lest you think that I rule my kids’ screen time with an iron first, my youngest gets an hour of (mostly educational) TV a day, just so we can help the oldest with their homework in peace. And every Saturday we have family movie night, and we take turns picking what we watch that week.

It also turns out that how much time kids spend in front of a screen isn’t the biggest concern. Time limits were common, but not universal.

That seemed to be parents’ biggest concern, what kids did with their screen time. Social media was a major concern, with 80 percent of respondents to the Pew survey saying it did more harm than good. Somewhat shockingly, 15 percent said their kids used TikTok, though usage of other platforms like Instagram and Facebook were much less common, only 5 percent. 74 percent did say they watched YouTube with their children, while only 15 percent said their kids didn’t watch YouTube at all.

In terms of tools for managing time, good old taking the device away or pressing the power button, was the most popular. Though some use Apple’s Screen Time tool to limit iPad usage specifically.

Phones weren’t common with younger kids. The Pew survey found that only 29 percent of parents allowed their 8 to 10 year-old to have their own smartphone. But, once kids hit their teens, they become more common.

Remember, there’s no right answer for how to raise your kids. What works for one parent, might not for another. We’re all just doing the best we can. Or at least 58 percent of us think we are, according to Pew.