My first sex toy was a bright blue dildo. I was about 19, and as a college student in New Hampshire, I did what anyone in my position would do: hotfooted it to the closest city to find a sex shop. With my best friend in tow, I jetted in and out of the Condom World on Newbury Street so fast that I only had time to grab the first sex toy I saw and pay for it, keeping my head down the whole time. To say the early 2000s were different when it came to sex toy acceptance would be a gross understatement.

In my small-town mind, they were something that shouldn’t be discussed and the very definition of the word taboo. But they weren’t taboo enough to keep me from buying that battery-operated blue monstrosity with its exaggerated veins and head. I was embarrassed by it from day one, even more so after I used it, with zero understanding of what I was supposed to get out of it.

With Age Came Wisdom

As I got to know my body better, exploring on my own or during partnered sex, with other toys I purchased, I came to a realization. As much as I love penetration with my partner(s), I didn’t particularly enjoy dildos. I found most impersonal, poorly designed, and because it wouldn’t be until my late 30s that I’d finally have an orgasm from G-spot simulation, on a pleasure level, they weren’t for me. This didn’t stop me from trying to get something out of them, especially as I started writing about sexual wellness and suddenly had a world of sex toys and the newest innovations at the tip of my fingers.

My feelings on dildos changed drastically with the Lelo Gigi 3. Finally, an internal dildo with a head that was flattened, as opposed to cone-shaped, meaning it covered more of the G-spot area. Breaking news, that’s exactly what I needed after all this time. While so many other dildos have rounded heads, which many people love, the flat head of the Gigi 3 is what really sets it apart.

It’s not just the shape of the head, but the way it disperses stimulation. Because the eight vibration modes are delivered through the flattened head, the sensations are more intense and rumbly, meaning I can feel them branching out and reaching more nerve endings. People with vulvas are far too often taught that when it comes to sexual pleasure, the focus should be on the clitoris or the G-spot—or both at once—but the reality is that the entire region is chock-full of nerve endings. Hence, the reason people with vulvas can experience orgasms outside these two zones, like via the A-spot (anterior fornix) and the U-spot (urethral sponge).

When Size Matters

I’m not a size queen. I’m the first to admit that smaller is better when it comes to external vibrators. However, when it comes to internal vibrators, the size and shape of the shaft matter. The Gigi 3 is the ideal size for G-spot stimulation. Even those who have yet to officially find their G-spot can’t possibly miss it when using the Gigi 3 because the length and slight arc of the shaft puts that flattened head exactly where every person with a vulva wants it. For me, I love to put a few drops of water-based lube on the head and shaft of the Gigi 3, get myself comfy, then slide it inside. From there, I can melt into the moment without fumbling with buttons (the Gigi 3 is app-controlled).

When I’m not in the mood for internal play, the flat head of the Gigi 3 is great for direct clitoral stimulation or teasing other parts of my vulva. As I’ve learned, just because the labia doesn’t have as many nerve endings as the clitoris doesn’t mean it likes to be ignored.

Is the Lelo Gigi 3 my favorite sex toy? No. Depending on the day and my mood, my favorite sex toys and vibrators change. But, if you’re someone with a vulva who has never liked dildos, the Gigi 3 could be your ticket to sexual pleasure. It could also hit the spot if you prefer clitoral stimulation, but want the vibrations to encompass more than just the external tip of the clit. Although the Gigi 3 can be used anywhere, internally and externally, if you have a vulva, this is a must-have.