The 2026 FIFA World Cup draw aired on Friday, and I’m envious if you didn’t waste your time on the worst sports-adjacent broadcast of all time. It somehow managed to have everything, and nothing — with a two-hour run time which found a way to be devoid of entertainment, and overflowing with cringe embarrassment, culminating with a fake, made-up award so FIFA president Gianni Infantino could curry favor with President Donald Trump in front of a global audience.
It all kicked off with two hosts who had zero chemistry. Heidi Klum, who we assume was picked because she’s a German-American, and Kevin Hart who was chosen because he will accept any job that pays him money. Klum did her best to carry the broadcast, while Hart quipped about not reading the script, forcing sad jokes, and plugging his Netflix special in the middle of the damn draw.
We then got the anthem of the World Cup, which could have pulled from the incredible musical legacies of the United States, Canada, and Mexico. Instead we had Robbie Williams perform “Desire” with Nicole Scherzinger. I was going to embed the video of the song here, as my way of sharing part of the pain — but FIFA has blocked embeds. Now you have to click here to find it and punish yourself with this ass song.
Was it time for the draw? Hell no, because the moment one man was waiting for had arrived: Giving Donald Trump a fake, made-up FIFA Peace Prize award to make him feel better about not getting a Nobel.
What ensued was a solid 20 minutes of Infantino bragging about what a wonderful man Trump was and how he’s changed the world. Trump credited himself with saving “10 million lives” by brokering peace between The Democratic Republic of Congo and Rwanda, which he said has led to “10 million deaths” before he intervened.
There have been 3,000 deaths since the conflict began in 2022, which is a number fewer than 10 million.
Then Trump got a medal, which he picked up the same way I carry a bag of dog poop after a walk.
The FIFA Peace Prize trophy, which was larger than the World Cup itself, appeared to be a shriveled, damaged globe being supported by the wisened hands of the dead thrusting their arms from the grave.
It was then speech time for Trump, who asserted that the NFL should be forced to change its name, because soccer is the true football. He also said he used to watch Pelé play for the New York Cosmos, who he “assumed was a great.”
With that block of garbage over we then had a totally meaningless photo op for Infantino, who brimmed with excitement like a toddler that he got to take a selfie with Donald Trump as the U.S. president, Mexico’s Claudia Sheinbaum and Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney ceremonially drew balls for their own teams in an utterly pointless waste of time. Even Trump mocked the proceedings and how worthless it all was.
Next up was Lauryn Hill, which was the only part of this worth a damn. It was great. And she was on time!
Then a “skit” featuring Rio Ferdinand, Matthew McConaughey, and Salma Hayek. I use quotation marks around “skit,” because it was so painful to watch. I would have rather had a root canal. Though Salma did tease a special guest to help Rio with the complicated draw process, which could be ANYONE — nah, it was some children in another prerecorded sketch that was painful.
FINALLY it was time for the actual draw. The highlight was Wayne Gretzky struggling to pronounce almost every nation’s name. The man was sweating bullets and not sure how he drew the short straw of announcing all the playoff teams.
To close the show was The Village People, who I assume were only booked so Trump could do his little child dance, but they only cut to him once and he didn’t dance. It’s entirely likely this was the first time he ever saw The Village People or realized they were LGBTQ icons.
So, there you have it. A sports show that had 15 minutes of sports and almost two hours of pointless crap. I’m going to leave now and get some fresh air. I need to remember there’s actual beauty in the world.
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![Deadspin | SEC notebook: Missouri RB Ahmad Hardy cleared after shooting; recovery timeline TBD Missouri Tigers running back Ahmad Hardy (29) reacts to his first down pickup during the first quarter of the TaxSlayer Gator Bowl at EverBank Stadium, Saturday, Dec. 27, 2025, in Jacksonville. Fla. [Corey Perrine/Florida Times-Union] Missouri running back Ahmad Hardy has been medically cleared for football activities just over two months after being shot in the upper leg, head coach Eli Drinkwitz announced Monday. Hardy was shot while attending an outdoor concert on May 10 in Laurel, Miss. “We anticipate he will make a recovery, but what that recovery will look like after having a bullet strike you is still to be determined,” Drinkwitz said Monday at SEC Media Days. “We do not know exactly what the return to play progression is because there’s not a lot of literature to that on this. “We do anticipate this return to play protocol could take anywhere from five-to-eight weeks, and at the end of the eight weeks, we still don’t know what the recovery will be — is he the same Ahmad Hardy as he was last year? My anticipation and what I’ve seen and the way he’s attacked his rehab, he’s going to be a better Ahmad Hardy than he was before.” Drinkwitz said Hardy likely learned an important lesson during the ordeal. “I think there’s a youthfulness feel of invincibility for all of these guys right now from 18 to 22 (years) old, and they’re empowered more now than they’ve ever been before, whether that’s financially or influence,” Drinkwitz said. “I think for Ahmad, there was that moment there where he realized he was mortal, and there could be really bad outcomes if you don’t make the right decisions consistently. “It was an unfortunate accident, incident and it wasn’t something he had any intention, nobody did. When you go to a concert, you don’t expect to be a victim of a random act of violence, especially gun violence. But I’ve been very, very proud of the way he has approached his recovery. This was a great opportunity for Ahmad to learn and for our student-athletes to learn. Also a great reminder there’s no place for gun violence in this world and that we need to do a better job of policing gun violence.” Missouri opens the 2026 season on Sept. 3 against Arkansas-Pine Bluff in Columbia, Mo. That is approximately 6 1/2 weeks into the recovery timeline. Hardy, 20, is a Mississippi native. He began his career at Louisiana-Monroe, where he was named the 2024 Sun Belt Conference Freshman of the Year after he led the conference in rushing yards (1,351) and rushing touchdowns (13) on 237 attempts. He transferred to Missouri, where he ranked second among FBS players with 1,649 rushing yards last season, a mark that broke the Tigers’ single-season record. He earned SEC Newcomer of the Year honors, was a finalist for the Doak Walker Award and a consensus All-American while scoring 16 TDs and averaging 6.4 yards on his 256 rushing attempts. –Oklahoma not noticing newfound national respect A year ago, there were some valid questions about Brett Venables’ future at Oklahoma. After 6-7 campaigns in two of his first three seasons, the Sooners needed a breakthrough in 2025 for their coach’s sake. They delivered just that, finishing a 10-2 regular season, earning the No. 8 seed in the College Football Playoff and hosting a first-round game they lost to Alabama. Now, Venables enters Year 5 at Oklahoma on a cooler seat and with higher expectations. Quarterback John Mateer is back and fully recovered from the throwing hand injury that limited him last season. A number of key pieces from the Sooners’ stellar defense are also back this fall. The coach is trying not to give any of that attention much mind. “We focus on things that we can control,” Venables said. “Do you ever use that as a motivation for a guy to maybe humble a guy? Absolutely. But at the end of the day this is a game of performance, this is a game that’s about the work, and this is a game where it’s decided on the field.” His Sooners will get to prove their worth early in the season, playing at Michigan, at Georgia and facing Texas in Dallas in their first five games of the season. –Will Stein brings extreme confidence to Kentucky When it comes to Kentucky, football isn’t the first sport that comes to mind. But with the confidence that first-year coach Will Stein is bringing to the Wildcats, he certainly believes that will change. Stein, who rose to prominence as Oregon’s offensive coordinator the last three seasons, takes over a program that has won double-digit games just twice since 1977. As the 36-year-old Louisville native took the podium Monday, he took the opportunity presented by a reporter asking him why he believes he’ll win big in Lexington to demonstrate his strong self-belief. “I think because of me, to be honest,” Stein said. “Because of me. I think I know what it takes. I’ve seen it at the highest levels. I know what it takes to recruit at this level. You’ve just got to believe, man. You’ve just got to put the ball down and play. There’s not really (much) else to be said.” –Field Level Media #Deadspin #SEC #notebook #Missouri #Ahmad #Hardy #cleared #shooting #recovery #timeline #TBD](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-1200,fo-auto/27891314.jpg "Deadspin | SEC notebook: Missouri RB Ahmad Hardy cleared after shooting; recovery timeline TBD Missouri Tigers running back Ahmad Hardy (29) reacts to his first down pickup during the first quarter of the TaxSlayer Gator Bowl at EverBank Stadium, Saturday, Dec. 27, 2025, in Jacksonville. Fla. [Corey Perrine/Florida Times-Union] Missouri running back Ahmad Hardy has been medically cleared for football activities just over two months after being shot in the upper leg, head coach Eli Drinkwitz announced Monday. Hardy was shot while attending an outdoor concert on May 10 in Laurel, Miss. “We anticipate he will make a recovery, but what that recovery will look like after having a bullet strike you is still to be determined,” Drinkwitz said Monday at SEC Media Days. “We do not know exactly what the return to play progression is because there’s not a lot of literature to that on this. “We do anticipate this return to play protocol could take anywhere from five-to-eight weeks, and at the end of the eight weeks, we still don’t know what the recovery will be — is he the same Ahmad Hardy as he was last year? My anticipation and what I’ve seen and the way he’s attacked his rehab, he’s going to be a better Ahmad Hardy than he was before.” Drinkwitz said Hardy likely learned an important lesson during the ordeal. “I think there’s a youthfulness feel of invincibility for all of these guys right now from 18 to 22 (years) old, and they’re empowered more now than they’ve ever been before, whether that’s financially or influence,” Drinkwitz said. “I think for Ahmad, there was that moment there where he realized he was mortal, and there could be really bad outcomes if you don’t make the right decisions consistently. “It was an unfortunate accident, incident and it wasn’t something he had any intention, nobody did. When you go to a concert, you don’t expect to be a victim of a random act of violence, especially gun violence. But I’ve been very, very proud of the way he has approached his recovery. This was a great opportunity for Ahmad to learn and for our student-athletes to learn. Also a great reminder there’s no place for gun violence in this world and that we need to do a better job of policing gun violence.” Missouri opens the 2026 season on Sept. 3 against Arkansas-Pine Bluff in Columbia, Mo. That is approximately 6 1/2 weeks into the recovery timeline. Hardy, 20, is a Mississippi native. He began his career at Louisiana-Monroe, where he was named the 2024 Sun Belt Conference Freshman of the Year after he led the conference in rushing yards (1,351) and rushing touchdowns (13) on 237 attempts. He transferred to Missouri, where he ranked second among FBS players with 1,649 rushing yards last season, a mark that broke the Tigers’ single-season record. He earned SEC Newcomer of the Year honors, was a finalist for the Doak Walker Award and a consensus All-American while scoring 16 TDs and averaging 6.4 yards on his 256 rushing attempts. –Oklahoma not noticing newfound national respect A year ago, there were some valid questions about Brett Venables’ future at Oklahoma. After 6-7 campaigns in two of his first three seasons, the Sooners needed a breakthrough in 2025 for their coach’s sake. They delivered just that, finishing a 10-2 regular season, earning the No. 8 seed in the College Football Playoff and hosting a first-round game they lost to Alabama. Now, Venables enters Year 5 at Oklahoma on a cooler seat and with higher expectations. Quarterback John Mateer is back and fully recovered from the throwing hand injury that limited him last season. A number of key pieces from the Sooners’ stellar defense are also back this fall. The coach is trying not to give any of that attention much mind. “We focus on things that we can control,” Venables said. “Do you ever use that as a motivation for a guy to maybe humble a guy? Absolutely. But at the end of the day this is a game of performance, this is a game that’s about the work, and this is a game where it’s decided on the field.” His Sooners will get to prove their worth early in the season, playing at Michigan, at Georgia and facing Texas in Dallas in their first five games of the season. –Will Stein brings extreme confidence to Kentucky When it comes to Kentucky, football isn’t the first sport that comes to mind. But with the confidence that first-year coach Will Stein is bringing to the Wildcats, he certainly believes that will change. Stein, who rose to prominence as Oregon’s offensive coordinator the last three seasons, takes over a program that has won double-digit games just twice since 1977. As the 36-year-old Louisville native took the podium Monday, he took the opportunity presented by a reporter asking him why he believes he’ll win big in Lexington to demonstrate his strong self-belief. “I think because of me, to be honest,” Stein said. “Because of me. I think I know what it takes. I’ve seen it at the highest levels. I know what it takes to recruit at this level. You’ve just got to believe, man. You’ve just got to put the ball down and play. There’s not really (much) else to be said.” –Field Level Media #Deadspin #SEC #notebook #Missouri #Ahmad #Hardy #cleared #shooting #recovery #timeline #TBD")
![Deadspin | SEC notebook: Missouri RB Ahmad Hardy cleared after shooting; recovery timeline TBD Missouri Tigers running back Ahmad Hardy (29) reacts to his first down pickup during the first quarter of the TaxSlayer Gator Bowl at EverBank Stadium, Saturday, Dec. 27, 2025, in Jacksonville. Fla. [Corey Perrine/Florida Times-Union] Missouri running back Ahmad Hardy has been medically cleared for football activities just over two months after being shot in the upper leg, head coach Eli Drinkwitz announced Monday. Hardy was shot while attending an outdoor concert on May 10 in Laurel, Miss. “We anticipate he will make a recovery, but what that recovery will look like after having a bullet strike you is still to be determined,” Drinkwitz said Monday at SEC Media Days. “We do not know exactly what the return to play progression is because there’s not a lot of literature to that on this. “We do anticipate this return to play protocol could take anywhere from five-to-eight weeks, and at the end of the eight weeks, we still don’t know what the recovery will be — is he the same Ahmad Hardy as he was last year? My anticipation and what I’ve seen and the way he’s attacked his rehab, he’s going to be a better Ahmad Hardy than he was before.” Drinkwitz said Hardy likely learned an important lesson during the ordeal. “I think there’s a youthfulness feel of invincibility for all of these guys right now from 18 to 22 (years) old, and they’re empowered more now than they’ve ever been before, whether that’s financially or influence,” Drinkwitz said. “I think for Ahmad, there was that moment there where he realized he was mortal, and there could be really bad outcomes if you don’t make the right decisions consistently. “It was an unfortunate accident, incident and it wasn’t something he had any intention, nobody did. When you go to a concert, you don’t expect to be a victim of a random act of violence, especially gun violence. But I’ve been very, very proud of the way he has approached his recovery. This was a great opportunity for Ahmad to learn and for our student-athletes to learn. Also a great reminder there’s no place for gun violence in this world and that we need to do a better job of policing gun violence.” Missouri opens the 2026 season on Sept. 3 against Arkansas-Pine Bluff in Columbia, Mo. That is approximately 6 1/2 weeks into the recovery timeline. Hardy, 20, is a Mississippi native. He began his career at Louisiana-Monroe, where he was named the 2024 Sun Belt Conference Freshman of the Year after he led the conference in rushing yards (1,351) and rushing touchdowns (13) on 237 attempts. He transferred to Missouri, where he ranked second among FBS players with 1,649 rushing yards last season, a mark that broke the Tigers’ single-season record. He earned SEC Newcomer of the Year honors, was a finalist for the Doak Walker Award and a consensus All-American while scoring 16 TDs and averaging 6.4 yards on his 256 rushing attempts. –Oklahoma not noticing newfound national respect A year ago, there were some valid questions about Brett Venables’ future at Oklahoma. After 6-7 campaigns in two of his first three seasons, the Sooners needed a breakthrough in 2025 for their coach’s sake. They delivered just that, finishing a 10-2 regular season, earning the No. 8 seed in the College Football Playoff and hosting a first-round game they lost to Alabama. Now, Venables enters Year 5 at Oklahoma on a cooler seat and with higher expectations. Quarterback John Mateer is back and fully recovered from the throwing hand injury that limited him last season. A number of key pieces from the Sooners’ stellar defense are also back this fall. The coach is trying not to give any of that attention much mind. “We focus on things that we can control,” Venables said. “Do you ever use that as a motivation for a guy to maybe humble a guy? Absolutely. But at the end of the day this is a game of performance, this is a game that’s about the work, and this is a game where it’s decided on the field.” His Sooners will get to prove their worth early in the season, playing at Michigan, at Georgia and facing Texas in Dallas in their first five games of the season. –Will Stein brings extreme confidence to Kentucky When it comes to Kentucky, football isn’t the first sport that comes to mind. But with the confidence that first-year coach Will Stein is bringing to the Wildcats, he certainly believes that will change. Stein, who rose to prominence as Oregon’s offensive coordinator the last three seasons, takes over a program that has won double-digit games just twice since 1977. As the 36-year-old Louisville native took the podium Monday, he took the opportunity presented by a reporter asking him why he believes he’ll win big in Lexington to demonstrate his strong self-belief. “I think because of me, to be honest,” Stein said. “Because of me. I think I know what it takes. I’ve seen it at the highest levels. I know what it takes to recruit at this level. You’ve just got to believe, man. You’ve just got to put the ball down and play. There’s not really (much) else to be said.” –Field Level Media #Deadspin #SEC #notebook #Missouri #Ahmad #Hardy #cleared #shooting #recovery #timeline #TBD](https://i3.wp.com/images.deadspin.com/tr:w-1200,fo-auto/27891314.jpg?ssl=1 "Deadspin | SEC notebook: Missouri RB Ahmad Hardy cleared after shooting; recovery timeline TBD Missouri Tigers running back Ahmad Hardy (29) reacts to his first down pickup during the first quarter of the TaxSlayer Gator Bowl at EverBank Stadium, Saturday, Dec. 27, 2025, in Jacksonville. Fla. [Corey Perrine/Florida Times-Union] Missouri running back Ahmad Hardy has been medically cleared for football activities just over two months after being shot in the upper leg, head coach Eli Drinkwitz announced Monday. Hardy was shot while attending an outdoor concert on May 10 in Laurel, Miss. “We anticipate he will make a recovery, but what that recovery will look like after having a bullet strike you is still to be determined,” Drinkwitz said Monday at SEC Media Days. “We do not know exactly what the return to play progression is because there’s not a lot of literature to that on this. “We do anticipate this return to play protocol could take anywhere from five-to-eight weeks, and at the end of the eight weeks, we still don’t know what the recovery will be — is he the same Ahmad Hardy as he was last year? My anticipation and what I’ve seen and the way he’s attacked his rehab, he’s going to be a better Ahmad Hardy than he was before.” Drinkwitz said Hardy likely learned an important lesson during the ordeal. “I think there’s a youthfulness feel of invincibility for all of these guys right now from 18 to 22 (years) old, and they’re empowered more now than they’ve ever been before, whether that’s financially or influence,” Drinkwitz said. “I think for Ahmad, there was that moment there where he realized he was mortal, and there could be really bad outcomes if you don’t make the right decisions consistently. “It was an unfortunate accident, incident and it wasn’t something he had any intention, nobody did. When you go to a concert, you don’t expect to be a victim of a random act of violence, especially gun violence. But I’ve been very, very proud of the way he has approached his recovery. This was a great opportunity for Ahmad to learn and for our student-athletes to learn. Also a great reminder there’s no place for gun violence in this world and that we need to do a better job of policing gun violence.” Missouri opens the 2026 season on Sept. 3 against Arkansas-Pine Bluff in Columbia, Mo. That is approximately 6 1/2 weeks into the recovery timeline. Hardy, 20, is a Mississippi native. He began his career at Louisiana-Monroe, where he was named the 2024 Sun Belt Conference Freshman of the Year after he led the conference in rushing yards (1,351) and rushing touchdowns (13) on 237 attempts. He transferred to Missouri, where he ranked second among FBS players with 1,649 rushing yards last season, a mark that broke the Tigers’ single-season record. He earned SEC Newcomer of the Year honors, was a finalist for the Doak Walker Award and a consensus All-American while scoring 16 TDs and averaging 6.4 yards on his 256 rushing attempts. –Oklahoma not noticing newfound national respect A year ago, there were some valid questions about Brett Venables’ future at Oklahoma. After 6-7 campaigns in two of his first three seasons, the Sooners needed a breakthrough in 2025 for their coach’s sake. They delivered just that, finishing a 10-2 regular season, earning the No. 8 seed in the College Football Playoff and hosting a first-round game they lost to Alabama. Now, Venables enters Year 5 at Oklahoma on a cooler seat and with higher expectations. Quarterback John Mateer is back and fully recovered from the throwing hand injury that limited him last season. A number of key pieces from the Sooners’ stellar defense are also back this fall. The coach is trying not to give any of that attention much mind. “We focus on things that we can control,” Venables said. “Do you ever use that as a motivation for a guy to maybe humble a guy? Absolutely. But at the end of the day this is a game of performance, this is a game that’s about the work, and this is a game where it’s decided on the field.” His Sooners will get to prove their worth early in the season, playing at Michigan, at Georgia and facing Texas in Dallas in their first five games of the season. –Will Stein brings extreme confidence to Kentucky When it comes to Kentucky, football isn’t the first sport that comes to mind. But with the confidence that first-year coach Will Stein is bringing to the Wildcats, he certainly believes that will change. Stein, who rose to prominence as Oregon’s offensive coordinator the last three seasons, takes over a program that has won double-digit games just twice since 1977. As the 36-year-old Louisville native took the podium Monday, he took the opportunity presented by a reporter asking him why he believes he’ll win big in Lexington to demonstrate his strong self-belief. “I think because of me, to be honest,” Stein said. “Because of me. I think I know what it takes. I’ve seen it at the highest levels. I know what it takes to recruit at this level. You’ve just got to believe, man. You’ve just got to put the ball down and play. There’s not really (much) else to be said.” –Field Level Media #Deadspin #SEC #notebook #Missouri #Ahmad #Hardy #cleared #shooting #recovery #timeline #TBD")
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