It has officially been 25 years since Gilmore Girls premiered, and in that time, the series has become iconic. Perhaps it is because the series reemerges roughly once a year, when the fall weather makes fans nostalgic, but even so many years after its end, there are still questions Gilmore Girls hasn’t answered. No, it’s not about the most recent cliffhanger or which relationship is Rory’s (Alexis Bledel) best, but about a character who is strangely missing from the series.

Following the beloved Gilmore duo and their lives in the small town of Stars Hollow, Gilmore Girls introduces many quirky characters, but one fairly notable person never appears in the original series. Despite the significant role Lane (Keiko Agena) plays as Rory’s best friend, her father isn’t a part of the show. Through the series, Lane often talks about her parents as a unit, but Mrs. Kim (Emily Kuroda) seems to raise Lane on her own, raising the question: Where is Mr. Kim?

Where Is Mr. Kim During All of ‘Gilmore Girls’?

After seven seasons, Mr. Kim finally shows up when the revival, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, gives him a few seconds on screen. While his appearance is a funny nod to the fans’ years-long discussion, it only exacerbates the problem. Mr. Kim is clearly alive, but Gilmore Girls never tells fans where he’s been. Yet, strangely, despite the mystery, Mr. Kim’s unexplained absence kind of makes sense for the series. Series creator Amy Sherman-Palladino admitted, “We didn’t have a dramatic necessity for him. The dynamic was between Lane and her mother.” Mrs. Kim is a strong enough character to stand for an entire family unit, and in truth, it’s difficult to imagine her married to someone who would defy her, so perhaps there really was no use for Mr. Kim.

Family is central to Gilmore Girls, as Rory and Lorelai (Lauren Graham) navigate their unique relationship and Lorelai clashes with her parents. However, the Gilmores aren’t the only ones to appear. In fact, other characters’ families become significant, including Lane’s. As Rory’s best friend, Lane is a major character who gets several storylines of her own. When it comes to her family, her relationship with her mother contrasts with Rory’s. But even as Lane and her mother become so prominent, Mr. Kim is nowhere to be found. This is especially odd because Gilmore Girls highlights the Kims during holidays and during major milestones, yet Mr. Kim is never present. He doesn’t attend Lane’s wedding or meet his grandsons. These absences make Mr. Kim difficult to explain, and Gilmore Girls never really tries.

Mr. Kim may be alive, but where he has been remains a mystery that Gilmore Girls will likely never explain. When he finally appears in Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, Lane simply notices him at a Stars Hollow festival, and she and Rory wave, giving no context to where he was throughout Lane’s childhood. While the series doesn’t even attempt to explain Mr. Kim, Lane actress Keiko Agena shared her theory, saying that she always believed he existed, even though it was only offscreen for so long. As far as why, Agena suggests, “[He was] traveling. He was away from home. I don’t know the specifics, but I felt like religion played a part in it somehow.” While this may excuse his absence from Lane’s daily life, it seems like he should have been there for some of the big moments. However, it remains the closest thing to an answer about Mr. Kim’s whereabouts during the series.

‘Gilmore Girls’ Highlights Lane’s Relationship With Her Mother Instead

While Mr. Kim is notably absent, the Kim family drama certainly isn’t. Gilmore Girls gives Lane plenty to do as she rebels against her overly strict mother and chases her passion for music. As an only child, Lane receives the constant — and sometimes intense — attention of Mrs. Kim, whose dedication to religion often makes the mother and daughter clash. Lane spends a significant amount of time figuring out how to dodge her mother’s rules, whether it is to try to see a boy like Henry, become a drummer, or dye her hair purple. Certainly, their dynamic isn’t easy, but the series also shows the love they share in moments like Mrs. Kim informing Lane that she will sleep with earplugs, so her daughter can have the wedding reception of her dreams or when Lane admits that she wants to be like her mother and do everything for her children. Yet, the touching moments between mother and daughter are missing something because the family is incomplete.

Lane and Mrs. Kim have an interesting dynamic, so it’s disappointing that fans never see how Mr. Kim fits into it. For example, when Lane attempts to convince her mother to let her date Dave Rygalski (Adam Brody), who doesn’t fit Mrs. Kim’s standards, would Mr. Kim be Lane’s ally? Would he have supported Lane’s band or been appalled? Or, when Mrs. Kim kicks Lane out of the house after she sneaks out, would Mr. Kim’s presence have reunited them sooner or made things worse? Depending on what kind of person he is, Mr. Kim getting involved in Lane and Mrs. Kim’s argument could have gone either way. It is a shame that, even after seven seasons and a spin-off, fans never got to see the impact Mr. Kim could have had.

‘Gilmore Girls’ Never Actually Needed Mr. Kim

Image via The WB

While the lack of answers about the mysterious character is disappointing, the truth is, he’s never strictly necessary because Lane and Mrs. Kim’s dynamic is the focus. With Rory, Lorelai, and Emily (Kelly Bishop) at the center, the series is about mothers and daughters above all else. While it touches on father/daughter relationships through Lorelai and Richard (Edward Herrmann), that is secondary. Lane and Mrs. Kim’s relationship creates enough conflict without a third person getting involved, which better highlights the show’s point, anyway. It’s true that Gilmore Girls didn’t strictly need Mr. Kim, but it would be nice to know where he was and how he fits into the Kim family dynamic, rather than letting that mystery sit for 25 years and counting.

Release Date

2000 – 2007-00-00

Network

The WB