Welcome to one of the larger and more preposterous playoff preview power poll projects I’ve ever attempted. We are ranking the Top 50 players in the NBA Playoffs, an utterly ridiculous effort that is, frankly, not possible to do responsibly. There is no methodology so sound that one person can rank 50 people; there is no theory so ironclad that it can avoid the rampant, harmful subjectivity of the recesses of my troubled mind. So, without meaningfully explaining my definition of “Top 50” or a philosophy of value or any kind of scientific method, I’m going to do it anyway. Also check out our rankings of every team in the field by their championship chances.

In an effort to not make this a million words, I have only given the Top 25 (spoiler alert: it’s actually 26, you’ll see why) players their own blurbs, and then grouped the back 25 (spoiler alert: it’s 24) together in some loose categories that I think capture the spirit of the exercise. In any case, lots about this will be demonstrably wrong, and I apologize that there is absolutely no way to avoid that. Onwards!

1. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander

Made up award: The 2019 Carsen Edwards vs. Virginia “That shot is just going in” Award

The best player in the world until someone else feels sufficiently inevitable with the ball in their hands. Shai has achieved peak scoring excellence in that you just think his shot is always going in, and he scores at a volume, efficiency and location (over 77 percent of his shots are twos and he shoots 55.3 percent from the field … he’s a guard!) that simply shouldn’t be possible. He has the belt.

Made up award: The Novak Djokovic Lifetime Achievement Award for Serbian Sports Excellence

I debated whether Jokic or Victor Wembanyama would get the second spot, but their majestic head-to-head battle clinched it for the Joker. The San Antonio Spurs are contenders for a number of reasons, the biggest (and tallest) one being Wemby. The Denver Nuggets are contenders for one reason and one reason only: Jokic, who could enter some seriously hallowed all-time ground if he grabs a second ring in a stacked West.

Made up award: Voted “Most likely to record a quadruple double in the playoffs”

Wemby and his precarious health have been treated carefully this year to maximize his impact and longevity, but the kid gloves are going to have to come off eventually. When they do, he’s such an outlier that I would believe any statistical achievement if he plays 43 minutes. There have only been four quadruple doubles in NBA history, and yet I’d somehow be surprised if he wasn’t the fifth.

Made up award: The Bitcoin Award for Player Who Can Swing the Market the Most

Luka’s availability after an unbelievably poorly timed hamstring injury is the great question mark of these playoffs. If he can return, and actually be Luka Doncic, before the Lakers are eliminated? It’s a whole new ballgame for everyone.

Made up award: The John Henry Award for Potentially Having to Dig a Tunnel through a Mountain

Edwards is everyone’s favorite young player who might be the next Michael Jordan — he’s electrifying and displays two-way brilliance that is rare for the modern scoring guard. But he has his work positively cut out for him in these playoffs, needing to shake off some late-season injuries and then probably beat Denver, San Antonio and OKC all in a row just to make the NBA Finals. Best of luck.

Made up award: The Ralph Fiennes “We need to get this guy an Oscar” Award

This is a guy who has made the playoffs every year of his career but never made the Conference Finals, so fans are crying out for him to please get some hardware this time around. I’ve always been bullish on Mitchell as an elite playoff guy, whose highs are high enough to beat literally anyone single-handedly. But he will need to do that consistently for once to get over the hump.

Made up award: The Cade Cunningham “so likeable that his injury might kill the 65 game rule” Award

Everyone was so in agreement that Cunningham deserved to be on the All-NBA First Team that we all collectively freaked out about the 65-game rule to try to salvage his candidacy before he was granted an exemption (which is probably the best reason to kill the rule). Cunningham was the twin-turbo V8 engine that drove the Pistons to the number one seed, but may be leaned on too heavily to create shots with Detroit lacking a second scorer.

Made up award: The Captain Phillips “I am the captain now” Award

Brown has improved his game in ways I simply did not believe were possible at this point in his career. With Jayson Tatum out most of the year, he proved he could be the First Violin in a world-class orchestra that’s about to go on tour. Truly a spectacular season for one of my favorite players.

Made up award: The Second Round Pick Award for second-best second-round pick of all time

Behind only Nikola Jokic in second round pick achievement, Brunson is of course an elite first option, an elite shot creator and an elite foul-sponge, a critical skill in the playoffs with tighter whistles across the board. It’s worth wondering, though, if the Knicks can actually win the East with Brunson at this kind of usage. I think they can, but the rest of the roster will need to take on part of the burden.

Made up award: The Patriots-Falcons 28-3 Super Bowl Award for Best Comeback

Almost an unfathomably great result for Tatum, who tore his Achilles less than a year ago and now stands poised for his 122nd career playoff game and counting. He and Brown are two of the most successful playoff guys in terms of number of games played to start their careers, and Tatum is a championship-winning first option when healthy. We shall see how much strain he’s ready to take.

Made up award: The Damian Lillard “You might need to demand a trade at some point” Award

Booker seems committed to Phoenix financially and competitively, and it’s impressive work that such a flawed team made the playoffs. But the Suns spent all their draft capital and young pieces to build a team, tear it down and now is staring down mediocrity for the foreseeable future. There are plenty of ways to pivot around such a great player, but there’s a chance this gets 2021ish Damian Lillard. Just a chance.

Made up award: The Lightning McQueen “Ka-Chow” Award for Being Fast

There is no correlation between average player speed and… being a good player, which is why Maxey is my pick for fastest NBA player in lieu of data. This is purely in terms of visually explosive burst in transition and on drives. The Celtics have struggled to contain Maxey for years, and he is Philly’s singular win condition.

Made up award: The Al Horford “should we talk about how old this guy is more?” Award

Durant is still putting ball in hoop like no other in year 19 which is, somehow, still not discussed nearly enough. LeBron James cornered the market on “wow he’s how old” discussions, but Durant is casually averaging 26 a game in 36 minutes in 78 games played. In the playoffs, you often need a bucket. For all the stuff that comes with the Durant experience, he is still the bucket.

Made up award: The Jaylen Brown Award for scoring leap I didn’t see coming

Did you know this was Murray’s first career All-Star season? Somehow, some way, Murray became a far more efficient shooter this season and ratcheted up his scoring to over 25 a game. He and Jokic have a premier partnership that we already know can win a title. Will they win another?

Made up award: The Casual NBA Fan award for “WHO are you saying is three whole spots better than LeBron?”

Many NBA fans may have missed this development, but Jalen Johnson has been soaring up the superstar boards all season, basically getting better and better for five straight years … all the way to somehow looking like an All-NBA first option. Trae Young’s departure took off the training wheels, and now we’re flying.

Made up award: The Banana Boat Award for going from Third to Second Banana

Holmgren is a first-time All-Star who made a serious leap over Jalen Williams, whose injury-laden season saw Chet take on a bigger role. He’s a cornerstone defensive force and exactly what the Thunder need to dynasty this thing up.

Made up award: The Eye Test Award for being better than your stats

Barnes’ Basketball Reference page doesn’t really suggest he improved much as a scorer, but he shot the ball much better and was a major part of a pretty spicy Toronto team that is looking to spoil some fun in Round One.

Made up award: The “Lock In” Award for potentially most epic lock-in

If LeBron James can carry the Los Angeles Lakers out of the first round without their two best scorers — Luka Doncic and Austin Reaves — that would be one of the premier lock-ins of all time. I’m a Celtics fan, but I’m going to be rooting for this.

Made up award: The Lucy Pulling the Football Award for most consistent playoff disappointment

Not generally the most reliable guy in the playoffs, the Cleveland Cavaliers nonetheless traded Darius Garland for Harden in a last-ditch effort to salvage their meh season. It could work; Harden is a good player. But nothing historically suggests it will.

Made up award: The “Most Improved Player Award” Award for exemplifying what that award is supposed to mean

Duren almost doubled his scoring output this season and was the second-biggest reason the Pistons took the league by storm. He is a dominating force on the glass and a pretty solid interior scorer, given his complete lack of a jumpshot. I’m a big fan of Duren.

Made up award: The Zion Williamson “I’m going to the rim no matter what” Award

Deni isn’t Williamson, who actually does not shoot threes at all anymore by the way, but he is at his best when he is trying to get downhill on every possession. He was a one-man wrecking crew in the first Play-In game, but we will see if that works against Wembanyama, whose 872-foot wingspan might cause problems.

Made up award: The James Harden “not sure how reliable this guy is” Award

Towns’ playoff plus/minus stats are not what you want out of your supposed second option, but it has proved difficult for the Knicks to keep both he and Brunson on the court and survive defensively. To avoid becoming the next Harden, towns will need a moment.

Made up award: The Kevin McHale Award for 2020s Post Bag

Sengun is a legitimately great post scorer in the year 2026, and it’s pretty fun to watch him eviscerate rim protectors who haven’t had to deal with that since 1987. Balancing his and Durant’s shot diets is the real challenge.

Made up award: The Jayson Tatum “he’s HOW young?” award for only being 21

Castle is so far beyond what I could have ever expected out of him at his age, and looks like a potential future star. To quote myself when I was talking about Roman Anthony, I am two years older than Stephon Castle. I am not old.

Made up award: The Not-Tim Duncan Award for player who is not Tim Duncan

One of my favorite niche NBA media moments of the last five years was this strange series of Bill Simmons podcasts circa 2022 where he and Ryen Russillo kept referring to Mobley as potentially the next Tim Duncan. I was also supremely in on Evan Mobley, and have not quite made back my investment either. He’s a really good player and a beast defensively, but he’s been too inconsistent, especially on offense, to go any higher.

(Bonus solo blurb, it was going to be the Top 25 get their own blurbs but I literally forgot about Jalen Brunson when I wrote this the first time and refuse to bump DWhite)

Made up award: The Matisse Thybulle Award for Blocking Threes

Derrick White has blocked nine threes this year. That isn’t quite the most, but he’s consistently up there in three-blocking, a skill that I’m just not sure how you teach or learn. Stuff like that is what makes White so valuable, because he’s also a great scorer and creator. What a player.

The “How healthy will you be?” Group

Three players who are critically important to their respective teams that either haven’t been healthy for much of the year or may not be healthy going forward. Gordon and Williams seem fine at the moment, with Gordon in particular coming back in force, but none of their respective lineups are the same without them. Only the Thunder could hope to survive an extended absence of any of these three.

The “We need offense, do you have offense?” Group

Four guys that have had up and down offensive years and four guys who will have to be on the up part of the up and down for the playoffs if their team has any big-time goals. Specifically, I’m looking at Randle as a primo candidate to sink or swim his whole team. Edwards can’t be the only creator for Minnesota, since Rudy Gobert and Jaden McDaniels are not reliable offensively. Thompson may get exposed for his poor shooting, but is capital R required for Houston with their relative lack of ball handlers.

The “Actually, we’re good on offense, can you just play defense?” Group

Perhaps the two most important defensive players in these playoffs because of their matchups. Anunoby is going to have to guard some of the best wings in the league throughout the Knicks’ run, and the Eastern Conference might as well be a Wingstop with Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Brown, Scottie Barnes, Jalen Johnson, they’re everywhere. Gobert, meanwhile, has Wembanyama and Jokic coming at him like a train. He will have to go full Tobey Maguire Spider-Man to stop them.

These guys could score in bunches and swing a series by themselves or completely disappear and … swing a series by themselves. Ingram is a player that I wasn’t particularly interested in anymore after his Pelicans tenure expired, but he had a really nice year in Toronto and got back to the All-Star game for the first time since 2020. Both these guys are important bucket-getters on teams without an embarrassment of creators, so lock in.

The Guy I Couldn’t Put in a Group

Embiid is a player I continue to feel bad for, and having an appendectomy right before the postseason is the worst luck imaginable for a guy who has had a career of the worst luck imaginable. I’ve tried to make this list relatively injury-agnostic, but I didn’t want to speculate at all for Embiid, whose playoff impact I can’t really measure or project whatsoever. So here he is in his own group, presented essentially without comment.

39. Nickeil Alexander-Walker

It physically hurt me to put Alexander-Walker this low since he has more than doubled his scoring this season and is unironically shooting 50-40-90 Bridges and McDaniels are both critical players for their teams, but just feel like a lesser version of what they could be; especially Bridges, who was a legit first-option in Brooklyn for a minute there. But wings are king, and these guys will play a lot.

Important Players on Important Teams

A bit of a grab bag here, but these are essential players on teams with championship aspirations. Ausar is definitely still a work in progress offensively but he is also one of the best defensive players in the league, an accolade you could also toss on Caruso, a peak pot-stirrer that somehow makes all of his opponents worse at basketball. Allen, meanwhile, is battling a knee injury but is a massive non-negotiable for the Cavs given how small the rest of their lineup is.

Quite the collection of dudes here, all of whom could be described as “oh (insert name from this group), I really like that guy.” They all play pretty different games, but their teams would not be the same without them.

50. Dillon Brooks/Paul George/Peyton Watson/Cason Wallace/RJ Barrett/Donovan Clingan/Desmond Bane/whoever else you want

It’s pretty funny that in a Top 50 players list I had a pretty easy time coming up with the Top 49 but really couldn’t pick the last guy in. This is basically the free space in bingo; just put whoever you want here. I, for one, really wanted to put Baylor Scheierman or Neemias Queta here, but decided against it. Let me know in the comments who you’d put at 50, and what I messed up. If everyone just agrees with me, something went horribly wrong.