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Tesla just increased its spending plan to B — here’s where the money is going | TechCrunch
Tesla CEO Elon Musk kicked off the company’s first-quarter earnings call with a monetary heads-up — or depending on the mindset of the investor, a warning. Tesla’s capital expenditures will skyrocket to  billion in 2026, far outpacing its previous annual spend as it races to stay ahead of the competition and transitions to an AI and robotics company, according to its first-quarter earnings report.

That figure, which covers what Tesla plans to spend on physical assets outside of its day-to-day operating expenditures, is three times higher than its annual capex budget in previous years. For comparison, Tesla’s annual capital expenditures were .5 billion in 2025, .3 billion in 2024, and .9 billion in 2023. 







Tesla had announced in January that it expected capital expenditures to be in excess of  billion in 2026, already a substantial increase meant to cover its AI initiatives, including investments in compute infrastructure and data centers, and the expansion and ramp of its manufacturing and R&D production lines, among other items. 

This  billion uptick suggests these initiatives will require more money than previously planned. But so far, its quarterly capital expenditure, which was .5 billion, was in line with previous quarters, the report shows.

Of course, Musk views this as a positive, a sentiment many other shareholders will likely also share since it positions Tesla as a company investing in its future, namely AI and robotics. 

“With 2026 we’re going to be substantially increasing our investments in the future,” Musk said in the earnings call Wednesday. “So you should expect to see significant, a very significant increase in capital expenditures, but I think well justified for a substantially increased future revenue stream.”

Musk was quick to note that Tesla isn’t the only company raising its capital expenditure budget. Amazon, for instance, has projected 0 billion in capital expenditures in 2026, across “AI, chips, robotics, and low earth orbit satellites.” Google is slated to spend between 5 billion and 5 billion in capital expenditures in 2026, up from .4 billion the previous year.

	
		
		Techcrunch event
		
			
			
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													October 13-15, 2026
							
			
		
	


The increase in Tesla’s capital expenditures is linked to Musk’s desire and ambition to evolve the company beyond building and selling EVs, solar, and energy storage. 

Some of the capex spend will go toward Tesla’s core technologies such as its battery and AI software, according to Musk. The company plans to invest in AI training, chip design, and “laying the groundwork” for increasing manufacturing production, as well as invest in its robotaxi operations and its new semiconductor research fab in Austin.

The Fremont, California, factory will likely suck up some of that capital as the company ends production of the Tesla Model S and Model X and begins building its Optimus humanoid robot at scale. The company said Wednesday it has also cleared ground outside its Austin factory for a dedicated Optimus manufacturing facility.







Tesla plans to increase its internal production of Optimus for testing and then “probably” make Optimus “useful outside of Tesla sometime next year,” he said. 

Tesla is also putting money toward strengthening its supply chain “across the board,” Musk said, adding that this covers batteries, energy, and AI silicon.

All of this spending, which CFO Vaibhav Taneja said will last a couple of years, comes with a literal cost. The company — which enjoyed a brief 4% share price bump due, in part, to an unexpected .4 billion in free cash flow — will head into negative territory later this year, Taneja said.

Tesla shares erased their gains in after-hours trading as Musk and Taneja laid out these plans to investors. Still, Tesla is sitting on loads of cash. At the end of the first quarter, Tesla reported .7 billion in cash, cash equivalents, and short-term investments.

“While this may seem like a lot, and we will have the impact of negative free cash flow for the rest of the year, we believe this is the right strategy to position the company for the next era,”  Taneja said. 
When you purchase through links in our articles, we may earn a small commission. This doesn’t affect our editorial independence.#Tesla #increased #spending #plan #25B #heres #money #TechCrunchElon Musk,Tesla

Tesla just increased its spending plan to $25B — here’s where the money is going | TechCrunch

Tesla CEO Elon Musk kicked off the company’s first-quarter earnings call with a monetary heads-up — or depending on the mindset of the investor, a warning. Tesla’s capital expenditures will skyrocket to $25 billion in 2026, far outpacing its previous annual spend as it races to stay ahead of the competition and transitions to an AI and robotics company, according to its first-quarter earnings report.

That figure, which covers what Tesla plans to spend on physical assets outside of its day-to-day operating expenditures, is three times higher than its annual capex budget in previous years. For comparison, Tesla’s annual capital expenditures were $8.5 billion in 2025, $11.3 billion in 2024, and $8.9 billion in 2023.

Tesla had announced in January that it expected capital expenditures to be in excess of $20 billion in 2026, already a substantial increase meant to cover its AI initiatives, including investments in compute infrastructure and data centers, and the expansion and ramp of its manufacturing and R&D production lines, among other items.

This $5 billion uptick suggests these initiatives will require more money than previously planned. But so far, its quarterly capital expenditure, which was $2.5 billion, was in line with previous quarters, the report shows.

Of course, Musk views this as a positive, a sentiment many other shareholders will likely also share since it positions Tesla as a company investing in its future, namely AI and robotics.

“With 2026 we’re going to be substantially increasing our investments in the future,” Musk said in the earnings call Wednesday. “So you should expect to see significant, a very significant increase in capital expenditures, but I think well justified for a substantially increased future revenue stream.”

Musk was quick to note that Tesla isn’t the only company raising its capital expenditure budget. Amazon, for instance, has projected $200 billion in capital expenditures in 2026, across “AI, chips, robotics, and low earth orbit satellites.” Google is slated to spend between $175 billion and $185 billion in capital expenditures in 2026, up from $91.4 billion the previous year.

Techcrunch event

San Francisco, CA | October 13-15, 2026

The increase in Tesla’s capital expenditures is linked to Musk’s desire and ambition to evolve the company beyond building and selling EVs, solar, and energy storage.

Some of the capex spend will go toward Tesla’s core technologies such as its battery and AI software, according to Musk. The company plans to invest in AI training, chip design, and “laying the groundwork” for increasing manufacturing production, as well as invest in its robotaxi operations and its new semiconductor research fab in Austin.

The Fremont, California, factory will likely suck up some of that capital as the company ends production of the Tesla Model S and Model X and begins building its Optimus humanoid robot at scale. The company said Wednesday it has also cleared ground outside its Austin factory for a dedicated Optimus manufacturing facility.

Tesla plans to increase its internal production of Optimus for testing and then “probably” make Optimus “useful outside of Tesla sometime next year,” he said.

Tesla is also putting money toward strengthening its supply chain “across the board,” Musk said, adding that this covers batteries, energy, and AI silicon.

All of this spending, which CFO Vaibhav Taneja said will last a couple of years, comes with a literal cost. The company — which enjoyed a brief 4% share price bump due, in part, to an unexpected $1.4 billion in free cash flow — will head into negative territory later this year, Taneja said.

Tesla shares erased their gains in after-hours trading as Musk and Taneja laid out these plans to investors. Still, Tesla is sitting on loads of cash. At the end of the first quarter, Tesla reported $44.7 billion in cash, cash equivalents, and short-term investments.

“While this may seem like a lot, and we will have the impact of negative free cash flow for the rest of the year, we believe this is the right strategy to position the company for the next era,” Taneja said.

When you purchase through links in our articles, we may earn a small commission. This doesn’t affect our editorial independence.

#Tesla #increased #spending #plan #25B #heres #money #TechCrunchElon Musk,Tesla

Tesla CEO Elon Musk kicked off the company’s first-quarter earnings call with a monetary heads-up — or depending on the mindset of the investor, a warning. Tesla’s capital expenditures will skyrocket to $25 billion in 2026, far outpacing its previous annual spend as it races to stay ahead of the competition and transitions to an AI and robotics company, according to its first-quarter earnings report.

That figure, which covers what Tesla plans to spend on physical assets outside of its day-to-day operating expenditures, is three times higher than its annual capex budget in previous years. For comparison, Tesla’s annual capital expenditures were $8.5 billion in 2025, $11.3 billion in 2024, and $8.9 billion in 2023.

Tesla had announced in January that it expected capital expenditures to be in excess of $20 billion in 2026, already a substantial increase meant to cover its AI initiatives, including investments in compute infrastructure and data centers, and the expansion and ramp of its manufacturing and R&D production lines, among other items.

This $5 billion uptick suggests these initiatives will require more money than previously planned. But so far, its quarterly capital expenditure, which was $2.5 billion, was in line with previous quarters, the report shows.

Of course, Musk views this as a positive, a sentiment many other shareholders will likely also share since it positions Tesla as a company investing in its future, namely AI and robotics.

“With 2026 we’re going to be substantially increasing our investments in the future,” Musk said in the earnings call Wednesday. “So you should expect to see significant, a very significant increase in capital expenditures, but I think well justified for a substantially increased future revenue stream.”

Musk was quick to note that Tesla isn’t the only company raising its capital expenditure budget. Amazon, for instance, has projected $200 billion in capital expenditures in 2026, across “AI, chips, robotics, and low earth orbit satellites.” Google is slated to spend between $175 billion and $185 billion in capital expenditures in 2026, up from $91.4 billion the previous year.

Techcrunch event

San Francisco, CA
|
October 13-15, 2026

The increase in Tesla’s capital expenditures is linked to Musk’s desire and ambition to evolve the company beyond building and selling EVs, solar, and energy storage.

Some of the capex spend will go toward Tesla’s core technologies such as its battery and AI software, according to Musk. The company plans to invest in AI training, chip design, and “laying the groundwork” for increasing manufacturing production, as well as invest in its robotaxi operations and its new semiconductor research fab in Austin.

The Fremont, California, factory will likely suck up some of that capital as the company ends production of the Tesla Model S and Model X and begins building its Optimus humanoid robot at scale. The company said Wednesday it has also cleared ground outside its Austin factory for a dedicated Optimus manufacturing facility.

Tesla plans to increase its internal production of Optimus for testing and then “probably” make Optimus “useful outside of Tesla sometime next year,” he said.

Tesla is also putting money toward strengthening its supply chain “across the board,” Musk said, adding that this covers batteries, energy, and AI silicon.

All of this spending, which CFO Vaibhav Taneja said will last a couple of years, comes with a literal cost. The company — which enjoyed a brief 4% share price bump due, in part, to an unexpected $1.4 billion in free cash flow — will head into negative territory later this year, Taneja said.

Tesla shares erased their gains in after-hours trading as Musk and Taneja laid out these plans to investors. Still, Tesla is sitting on loads of cash. At the end of the first quarter, Tesla reported $44.7 billion in cash, cash equivalents, and short-term investments.

“While this may seem like a lot, and we will have the impact of negative free cash flow for the rest of the year, we believe this is the right strategy to position the company for the next era,” Taneja said.

When you purchase through links in our articles, we may earn a small commission. This doesn’t affect our editorial independence.

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#Tesla #increased #spending #plan #25B #heres #money #TechCrunch

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Italy to replace Iran in FIFA World Cup 2026? Trump envoy seeks change: Reports <div id="content-body-70895576" itemprop="articleBody"><p>A top ​envoy to U.S. President Donald Trump has asked ‌FIFA to replace Iran with Italy in ​the upcoming World Cup, the <i>Financial ⁠Times </i>reported on Wednesday.</p><p>The plan is an effort to repair ties between Trump and Italy’s Prime Minister ‌Giorgia Meloni after the two fell out amid the American president’s attacks against ‌Pope Leo XIV over the Iran ‌war, ⁠the <i>FT </i>reported, citing people familiar with ⁠the matter.</p><p>“I confirm I have suggested to Trump and (FIFA president Gianni) Infantino that Italy replace Iran at the World ​Cup. I’m an ‌Italian native and it would be a dream to see the Azzurri at a US-hosted tournament. With four titles, they have the ‌pedigree to justify inclusion,” U.S. special envoy ​Paolo Zampolli told the <i>FT</i>.</p><p>The White House, FIFA, the Italian Football Federation(FIGC) ⁠and Iran’s football federation (FFIRI) did not immediately respond to Reuters’ requests for comment.</p><p>Italy suffered a shock ‌in March after the national team missed out on the World Cup for the third time in a row following a 1-4 penalty shootout defeat to Bosnia and Herzegovina in their qualifying playoff final. Meanwhile, Iran has qualified for its fourth consecutive World Cup.</p><p>Iran reportedly issued a statement on Wednesday saying it was ​prepared for the tournament and planned to participate. Reuters could not immediately verify ⁠the report.</p><p>Iran had said earlier in April it would ⁠only decide on the national team’s participation in the World Cup once it ‌received a response from FIFA over the relocation of its matches from the U.S. ​to Mexico.</p><p class="publish-time" id="end-of-article">Published on Apr 23, 2026</p></div> #Italy #replace #Iran #FIFA #World #Cup #Trump #envoy #seeks #change #Reports

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Deadspin | DC United ends scoring drought, earns 4-4 draw with Red Bulls <div id=""><section id="0" class=" w-full"><div class="xl:container mx-0 !px-4 py-0 pb-4 !mx-0 !px-0"><img src="https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/28787725.jpg" srcset="https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/28787725.jpg" alt="MLS: D.C. United at Red Bull New York" class="w-full" fetchpriority="high" loading="eager"/><span class="text-0.8 leading-tight">Apr 22, 2026; Harrison, New Jersey, USA; Red Bull New York forward Jorge Ruvalcaba (11) reacts after scoring a goal against D.C. United during the second half at Sports Illustrated Stadium. Mandatory Credit: John Jones-Imagn Images<!-- --> <!-- --> </span></div></section><section id="section-1"> <p>Tai Baribo scored his third goal in the 80th minute as D.C. United ended a long scoring drought and escaped with a 4-4 draw in an adrenaline-fueled match against the New York Red Bulls on Wednesday night in Harrison, N.J.</p> </section><section id="section-2"> <p>Jackson Hopkins added a goal and an assist for D.C. United (2-4-3, 9 points), who rallied from a two-goal deficit. D.C. has not won in its last five games, going 0-2-3 over that stretch.</p> </section><section id="section-3"> <p>The offensive splurge came from a D.C. team that entered the match with an MLS-low four goals. Baribo has now scored six of the team’s eight goals this season.</p> </section><section id="section-4"> <p>Jorge Ruvalcaba scored two spectacular goals in the second half for struggling New York (3-3-3, 12 points), which has won only one of its last seven MLS matches.</p> </section><section id="section-5"> <p>Ronald Donkor added a goal and two assists and Julian Hall scored his team-high sixth goal for the Red Bulls, who have surrendered 18 goals in their last five matches.</p> </section><section id="section-6"> <p>New York struck first in the 15th minute with a precise pair of passes by Adri Mehmeti and Donkor, which set up Hall for a low right-footed shot past on-rushing D.C. keeper Sean Johnson (one save).</p> </section><section id="section-7"> <p>Just six minutes later, the Red Bulls took advantage of a lack of pressure from the D.C. defense as a cross by 17-year-old Matthew Dos Santos was deflected by D.C. defender Aaron Herrera.</p> </section><br/><section id="section-8"> <p>The ball found Donkor in the center of the box and he fired a right-footed shot to the bottom left corner for a 2-0 lead.</p> </section> <section id="section-9"> <p>D.C. answered in the 37th minute in transition as Hopkins crossed from the right side to Baribo in the middle of the box. With a sliding right-footed shot, Baribo beat New York keeper Ethan Horvath (one save).</p> </section><section id="section-10"> <p>New York countered in the 52nd minute in transition as Emil Forsberg found Ruvalcaba sprinting down the left wing. Ruvalcaba beat one defender then watched another slide past before rifling a tough-angle shot into the top right corner for a 3-1 lead.</p> </section><section id="section-11"> <p>But D.C. answered, taking advantage of the tendency of the back line of New York to play too far forward. D.C.’s Joao Peglow won two balls near midfield and sent them forward for breakaway goals five minutes apart.</p> </section><section id="section-12"> <p>Hopkins scored the first to make it 3-2 and Baribo followed in the 59th minute to tie it up.</p> </section><section id="section-13"> <p>After Ruvalcaba scored again in transition in the 71st minute, Baribo answered from just in front of the goal line with his equalizer on a feed from Silvan Hefti, who had two assists in the match.</p> </section><section id="section-14"> <p>In stoppage time, D.C.’s Jacob Murrell appeared to score a transition goal but was called for a foul, shoving a defender out of his way before flicking in a shot with his left foot.</p> </section><section id="section-15"> <p>–Field Level Media</p> </section></div> #Deadspin #United #ends #scoring #drought #earns #draw #Red #Bulls


So: masochism. You might know that it takes its name from 19th-century Austrian nobleman and writer Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch—and specifically from the content of his famous work, Venus in Furs, which catalogued the narrator’s submissive nature and fondness for experiencing pain and humiliation. Masoch himself was apparently not amused by the fact that his name became attached to such predilections—probably fair, given that the term was first used in a book entitled Psychopathia Sexualis, which also pioneered negging by speculating that Masoch himself “would have achieved real greatness had he been actuated by normally sexual feelings.” Happily, modern attitudes to the “S” part of BDSM are significantly more enlightened than they were in the 1880s and 1890s.

In entirely unrelated news, a YouTuber by the name of icitry—whose bio on the site reads simply “try now, suffer later”—has written a whole first-person shooter in freaking COBOL.

If you’ve never had to deal with COBOL, well, good for you, and you should probably keep it that way. The language is amongst the oldest computer languages, and was developed in the 1960s for managing business mainframes. It’s probably what drove poor Ginsberg in Mad Men out of his mind. COBOL remains in use today, largely in such legacy mainframes and other places where it’s not feasible to replace existing systems that, for all their foibles, still work.

One purpose for which it absolutely does not remain in use—and, in fact, has never been used—is programming first-person shooters. So why in the name of all that is good and holy would anyone do this to themselves?

In his video, icitry explains that the project started with him wondering, “What’s the dumbest but still technically possible language for writing a small FPS style game?” The answer was, yes, COBOL, and because the laws of the universe dictate that anything that can happen must happen, icitry got to work. Long, painstaking, tedious hours of work.

As he points out, COBOL is “old, verbose, missing most features even the shittiest modern languages have … and is definitely not created for game development.” All of this is true, although in fairness to COBOL, it was created at a time when people were still figuring out how programming should work and what a programming language should aim to be. Its earliest standard predated the idea of structured programming, although it soon attracted criticism from advocates of that concept— Edsger Dijkstra, in particular, famously hated the language and said its use “cripples the mind.”

To modern eyes, just trying to parse a COBOL program is enough to induce a headache, let alone trying to write a game in it—but, miraculously, icitry manages to get his Wolfenstein 3D-esque project to work. He dodges COBOL’s complete lack of graphical functions by basically treating the game as what he calls a “frame generator”: his code computes the contents of each frame and uses a standard output function to write the results into a simple image format. This is rendered by ffplay—which, yes, is probably cheating, but not even old Leopold would try to write an entire graphics API from scratch in COBOL.

Elsewhere, icitry dodges COBOL’s lack of input management by using the console to input single characters to his game. He doesn’t so much dodge COBOL’s lack of any vector math functions—which are kind of important for a game where the entire gameplay loop revolves around calculating and manipulating 2D movement vectors—as he does just work around them by kinda writing them himself. And then, as if this wasn’t all enough self-punishment, he goes the extra mile by implementing DOOM engine functions like variable ceiling height.

The whole project is a testament to mankind’s ingenuity, resourcefulness, and ability to withstand all manner of self-inflicted punishment. Watching the game run, you’d never guess it was written in a language so manifestly unsuited for the task at hand.

Still! At least it’s not FORTRAN, right? Right?? *smash cut to an Austrian aristocrat at his desk with a copy of The Fortran Automatic Coding System for the IBM 704 and the DOOM source code*

#Masochistic #YouTuber #Punishes #Writing #Person #Shooter #COBOLCOBOL,Doom,Wolfenstein 3D">Masochistic YouTuber Punishes Himself by Writing a First Person Shooter Entirely in COBOL
                So: masochism. You might know that it takes its name from 19th-century Austrian nobleman and writer Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch—and specifically from the content of his famous work, Venus in Furs, which catalogued the narrator’s submissive nature and fondness for experiencing pain and humiliation. Masoch himself was apparently not amused by the fact that his name became attached to such predilections—probably fair, given that the term was first used in a book entitled Psychopathia Sexualis, which also pioneered negging by speculating that Masoch himself “would have achieved real greatness had he been actuated by normally sexual feelings.” Happily, modern attitudes to the “S” part of BDSM are significantly more enlightened than they were in the 1880s and 1890s. In entirely unrelated news, a YouTuber by the name of icitry—whose bio on the site reads simply “try now, suffer later”—has written a whole first-person shooter in freaking COBOL. If you’ve never had to deal with COBOL, well, good for you, and you should probably keep it that way. The language is amongst the oldest computer languages, and was developed in the 1960s for managing business mainframes. It’s probably what drove poor Ginsberg in Mad Men out of his mind. COBOL remains in use today, largely in such legacy mainframes and other places where it’s not feasible to replace existing systems that, for all their foibles, still work.

 One purpose for which it absolutely does not remain in use—and, in fact, has never been used—is programming first-person shooters. So why in the name of all that is good and holy would anyone do this to themselves? [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzpZQe7JT-o[/embed] In his video, icitry explains that the project started with him wondering, “What’s the dumbest but still technically possible language for writing a small FPS style game?” The answer was, yes, COBOL, and because the laws of the universe dictate that anything that can happen must happen, icitry got to work. Long, painstaking, tedious hours of work.

 As he points out, COBOL is “old, verbose, missing most features even the shittiest modern languages have … and is definitely not created for game development.” All of this is true, although in fairness to COBOL, it was created at a time when people were still figuring out how programming should work and what a programming language should aim to be. Its earliest standard predated the idea of structured programming, although it soon attracted criticism from advocates of that concept— Edsger Dijkstra, in particular, famously hated the language and said its use “cripples the mind.” To modern eyes, just trying to parse a COBOL program is enough to induce a headache, let alone trying to write a game in it—but, miraculously, icitry manages to get his Wolfenstein 3D-esque project to work. He dodges COBOL’s complete lack of graphical functions by basically treating the game as what he calls a “frame generator”: his code computes the contents of each frame and uses a standard output function to write the results into a simple image format. This is rendered by ffplay—which, yes, is probably cheating, but not even old Leopold would try to write an entire graphics API from scratch in COBOL.

 Elsewhere, icitry dodges COBOL’s lack of input management by using the console to input single characters to his game. He doesn’t so much dodge COBOL’s lack of any vector math functions—which are kind of important for a game where the entire gameplay loop revolves around calculating and manipulating 2D movement vectors—as he does just work around them by kinda writing them himself. And then, as if this wasn’t all enough self-punishment, he goes the extra mile by implementing DOOM engine functions like variable ceiling height. The whole project is a testament to mankind’s ingenuity, resourcefulness, and ability to withstand all manner of self-inflicted punishment. Watching the game run, you’d never guess it was written in a language so manifestly unsuited for the task at hand. Still! At least it’s not FORTRAN, right? Right?? *smash cut to an Austrian aristocrat at his desk with a copy of The Fortran Automatic Coding System for the IBM 704 and the DOOM source code*      #Masochistic #YouTuber #Punishes #Writing #Person #Shooter #COBOLCOBOL,Doom,Wolfenstein 3D

icitry—whose bio on the site reads simply “try now, suffer later”—has written a whole first-person shooter in freaking COBOL.

If you’ve never had to deal with COBOL, well, good for you, and you should probably keep it that way. The language is amongst the oldest computer languages, and was developed in the 1960s for managing business mainframes. It’s probably what drove poor Ginsberg in Mad Men out of his mind. COBOL remains in use today, largely in such legacy mainframes and other places where it’s not feasible to replace existing systems that, for all their foibles, still work.

One purpose for which it absolutely does not remain in use—and, in fact, has never been used—is programming first-person shooters. So why in the name of all that is good and holy would anyone do this to themselves?

In his video, icitry explains that the project started with him wondering, “What’s the dumbest but still technically possible language for writing a small FPS style game?” The answer was, yes, COBOL, and because the laws of the universe dictate that anything that can happen must happen, icitry got to work. Long, painstaking, tedious hours of work.

As he points out, COBOL is “old, verbose, missing most features even the shittiest modern languages have … and is definitely not created for game development.” All of this is true, although in fairness to COBOL, it was created at a time when people were still figuring out how programming should work and what a programming language should aim to be. Its earliest standard predated the idea of structured programming, although it soon attracted criticism from advocates of that concept— Edsger Dijkstra, in particular, famously hated the language and said its use “cripples the mind.”

To modern eyes, just trying to parse a COBOL program is enough to induce a headache, let alone trying to write a game in it—but, miraculously, icitry manages to get his Wolfenstein 3D-esque project to work. He dodges COBOL’s complete lack of graphical functions by basically treating the game as what he calls a “frame generator”: his code computes the contents of each frame and uses a standard output function to write the results into a simple image format. This is rendered by ffplay—which, yes, is probably cheating, but not even old Leopold would try to write an entire graphics API from scratch in COBOL.

Elsewhere, icitry dodges COBOL’s lack of input management by using the console to input single characters to his game. He doesn’t so much dodge COBOL’s lack of any vector math functions—which are kind of important for a game where the entire gameplay loop revolves around calculating and manipulating 2D movement vectors—as he does just work around them by kinda writing them himself. And then, as if this wasn’t all enough self-punishment, he goes the extra mile by implementing DOOM engine functions like variable ceiling height.

The whole project is a testament to mankind’s ingenuity, resourcefulness, and ability to withstand all manner of self-inflicted punishment. Watching the game run, you’d never guess it was written in a language so manifestly unsuited for the task at hand.

Still! At least it’s not FORTRAN, right? Right?? *smash cut to an Austrian aristocrat at his desk with a copy of The Fortran Automatic Coding System for the IBM 704 and the DOOM source code*

#Masochistic #YouTuber #Punishes #Writing #Person #Shooter #COBOLCOBOL,Doom,Wolfenstein 3D">Masochistic YouTuber Punishes Himself by Writing a First Person Shooter Entirely in COBOLMasochistic YouTuber Punishes Himself by Writing a First Person Shooter Entirely in COBOL
                So: masochism. You might know that it takes its name from 19th-century Austrian nobleman and writer Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch—and specifically from the content of his famous work, Venus in Furs, which catalogued the narrator’s submissive nature and fondness for experiencing pain and humiliation. Masoch himself was apparently not amused by the fact that his name became attached to such predilections—probably fair, given that the term was first used in a book entitled Psychopathia Sexualis, which also pioneered negging by speculating that Masoch himself “would have achieved real greatness had he been actuated by normally sexual feelings.” Happily, modern attitudes to the “S” part of BDSM are significantly more enlightened than they were in the 1880s and 1890s. In entirely unrelated news, a YouTuber by the name of icitry—whose bio on the site reads simply “try now, suffer later”—has written a whole first-person shooter in freaking COBOL. If you’ve never had to deal with COBOL, well, good for you, and you should probably keep it that way. The language is amongst the oldest computer languages, and was developed in the 1960s for managing business mainframes. It’s probably what drove poor Ginsberg in Mad Men out of his mind. COBOL remains in use today, largely in such legacy mainframes and other places where it’s not feasible to replace existing systems that, for all their foibles, still work.

 One purpose for which it absolutely does not remain in use—and, in fact, has never been used—is programming first-person shooters. So why in the name of all that is good and holy would anyone do this to themselves? [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzpZQe7JT-o[/embed] In his video, icitry explains that the project started with him wondering, “What’s the dumbest but still technically possible language for writing a small FPS style game?” The answer was, yes, COBOL, and because the laws of the universe dictate that anything that can happen must happen, icitry got to work. Long, painstaking, tedious hours of work.

 As he points out, COBOL is “old, verbose, missing most features even the shittiest modern languages have … and is definitely not created for game development.” All of this is true, although in fairness to COBOL, it was created at a time when people were still figuring out how programming should work and what a programming language should aim to be. Its earliest standard predated the idea of structured programming, although it soon attracted criticism from advocates of that concept— Edsger Dijkstra, in particular, famously hated the language and said its use “cripples the mind.” To modern eyes, just trying to parse a COBOL program is enough to induce a headache, let alone trying to write a game in it—but, miraculously, icitry manages to get his Wolfenstein 3D-esque project to work. He dodges COBOL’s complete lack of graphical functions by basically treating the game as what he calls a “frame generator”: his code computes the contents of each frame and uses a standard output function to write the results into a simple image format. This is rendered by ffplay—which, yes, is probably cheating, but not even old Leopold would try to write an entire graphics API from scratch in COBOL.

 Elsewhere, icitry dodges COBOL’s lack of input management by using the console to input single characters to his game. He doesn’t so much dodge COBOL’s lack of any vector math functions—which are kind of important for a game where the entire gameplay loop revolves around calculating and manipulating 2D movement vectors—as he does just work around them by kinda writing them himself. And then, as if this wasn’t all enough self-punishment, he goes the extra mile by implementing DOOM engine functions like variable ceiling height. The whole project is a testament to mankind’s ingenuity, resourcefulness, and ability to withstand all manner of self-inflicted punishment. Watching the game run, you’d never guess it was written in a language so manifestly unsuited for the task at hand. Still! At least it’s not FORTRAN, right? Right?? *smash cut to an Austrian aristocrat at his desk with a copy of The Fortran Automatic Coding System for the IBM 704 and the DOOM source code*      #Masochistic #YouTuber #Punishes #Writing #Person #Shooter #COBOLCOBOL,Doom,Wolfenstein 3D

So: masochism. You might know that it takes its name from 19th-century Austrian nobleman and writer Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch—and specifically from the content of his famous work, Venus in Furs, which catalogued the narrator’s submissive nature and fondness for experiencing pain and humiliation. Masoch himself was apparently not amused by the fact that his name became attached to such predilections—probably fair, given that the term was first used in a book entitled Psychopathia Sexualis, which also pioneered negging by speculating that Masoch himself “would have achieved real greatness had he been actuated by normally sexual feelings.” Happily, modern attitudes to the “S” part of BDSM are significantly more enlightened than they were in the 1880s and 1890s.

In entirely unrelated news, a YouTuber by the name of icitry—whose bio on the site reads simply “try now, suffer later”—has written a whole first-person shooter in freaking COBOL.

If you’ve never had to deal with COBOL, well, good for you, and you should probably keep it that way. The language is amongst the oldest computer languages, and was developed in the 1960s for managing business mainframes. It’s probably what drove poor Ginsberg in Mad Men out of his mind. COBOL remains in use today, largely in such legacy mainframes and other places where it’s not feasible to replace existing systems that, for all their foibles, still work.

One purpose for which it absolutely does not remain in use—and, in fact, has never been used—is programming first-person shooters. So why in the name of all that is good and holy would anyone do this to themselves?

In his video, icitry explains that the project started with him wondering, “What’s the dumbest but still technically possible language for writing a small FPS style game?” The answer was, yes, COBOL, and because the laws of the universe dictate that anything that can happen must happen, icitry got to work. Long, painstaking, tedious hours of work.

As he points out, COBOL is “old, verbose, missing most features even the shittiest modern languages have … and is definitely not created for game development.” All of this is true, although in fairness to COBOL, it was created at a time when people were still figuring out how programming should work and what a programming language should aim to be. Its earliest standard predated the idea of structured programming, although it soon attracted criticism from advocates of that concept— Edsger Dijkstra, in particular, famously hated the language and said its use “cripples the mind.”

To modern eyes, just trying to parse a COBOL program is enough to induce a headache, let alone trying to write a game in it—but, miraculously, icitry manages to get his Wolfenstein 3D-esque project to work. He dodges COBOL’s complete lack of graphical functions by basically treating the game as what he calls a “frame generator”: his code computes the contents of each frame and uses a standard output function to write the results into a simple image format. This is rendered by ffplay—which, yes, is probably cheating, but not even old Leopold would try to write an entire graphics API from scratch in COBOL.

Elsewhere, icitry dodges COBOL’s lack of input management by using the console to input single characters to his game. He doesn’t so much dodge COBOL’s lack of any vector math functions—which are kind of important for a game where the entire gameplay loop revolves around calculating and manipulating 2D movement vectors—as he does just work around them by kinda writing them himself. And then, as if this wasn’t all enough self-punishment, he goes the extra mile by implementing DOOM engine functions like variable ceiling height.

The whole project is a testament to mankind’s ingenuity, resourcefulness, and ability to withstand all manner of self-inflicted punishment. Watching the game run, you’d never guess it was written in a language so manifestly unsuited for the task at hand.

Still! At least it’s not FORTRAN, right? Right?? *smash cut to an Austrian aristocrat at his desk with a copy of The Fortran Automatic Coding System for the IBM 704 and the DOOM source code*

#Masochistic #YouTuber #Punishes #Writing #Person #Shooter #COBOLCOBOL,Doom,Wolfenstein 3D

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