A man worried that he was in the wrong over his “deeply resentful” feelings about his twin brother. However, he’s found a lot of validation for his feelings toward his sibling.

Taking to Reddit‘s “Am I the A–hole” forum, the twin explained that he and his brother “were inseparable” when they were younger, but they’ve since gone “in very different directions.”

In his post, the man noted that a big difference between them now stemmed from their financial situations. While he’d studied ecology, his twin got a degree in computer science. Due to the discrepancy in pay between the two fields, he’s now making less than half what his brother does at a job.

The Redditor stressed that the resentment wasn’t rooted in earning less than his brother. Instead, he wrote, “It’s the way he behaves around money despite being so financially comfortable. He constantly complains in the family group chat about how expensive things are, acts broke, and is extremely tight with money while saving huge amounts.”

As an example, he noted that, while visiting him, the brother expected to be reimbursed for buying a round of drinks at the bar. Meanwhile, the brother stayed for free in the Redditor and their mom’s hotel room.

He also recalled a time when his brother reportedly “publicly berated [him] for ‘always expecting him to pay.’”

The twin recently bragged that he’d be living rent free in a home that his partner was building. All things considered, that was the final straw.

“I know I sound petty, but the disparity and his attitude toward money make me deeply resentful. I’ve tried raising it with him multiple times, but it always turns into arguments, and my mom usually defends him. It’s creating a real rift between us, and I find myself getting irritated whenever I think about him,” the man wrote.

He wanted to know if his feelings were wrong, and he found plenty of advice and support online.

One person summed it up simply, writing, “It’s not about resenting his success it’s about him being cheap and rude.”

Another agreed, writing that the Redditor’s twin was “a cheapskate.” They added, “Don’t expect any generosity from him or reciprocity.”

Saying that the man was resentful of his twin because of how he “complains” about being “bad with money,” another had a proposal for how to respond: “Honestly, just call him on it. When he complains about the cost of things, tell him that you make half as much as he does and yet you dont have a problem. Why does he have such difficulty? Then you offer to help him with balancing his finances.”

“After that if/when he complains about the cost of something, you remind him that you offered to help him budget better to afford these things,” they concluded.

Chiming in, another person wrote, “I don’t think you resent him for earning more money than you, I think you resent him because of the way he behaves with finances.” The Redditor added, “his lack of generosity and general awareness is what is irritating you.”

They also commiserated, writing, “My sister is more or less the same way. The best thing you can do with people like that is separate yourself and not do for them what they wouldn’t do for you.”

“The issue isn’t he makes more. It’s his complete blind selfishness,” yet another Redditor wrote. “Is he the youngest sibling? Cause he sounds like he doesn’t understand the concept of giving vs taking and that is what I would call baby in the family syndrome.”

Posted To:Human Interest Reddit