We’ve all been there.

You’re sitting in a waiting room, or standing by a pickup counter, and the person with the microphone pauses. And you just know your name is about to be violently disassembled in front of a crowd of strangers.

You’re not alone. Whether you have a beautifully unique name that people refuse to learn, or a totally standard four-letter one that somehow still confuses the masses, nobody is safe from the phonetic blender.

Luckily, the good people of Reddit got together to share the absolute worst ways they’ve heard their own names mangled.

Some of these are so wildly off the mark that you have to wonder if the person trying to read them was even trying.