Me: “Thank you for calling [Company], [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Caller: “Uh… hi. I need to do [service-related task].”

Based on the sound of the age of the caller, and the name of the account holder, it seems I am speaking to a Spanish-speaking child, clearly trying to pretend to be their parent because their parent doesn’t speak English. It happens a lot.

Me: “Am I speaking to the account holder?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Ooookay. Just to inform, we don’t mind if a family member translates, but at the very least, we have to bring a translator on the line to verify the primary account holder and get authorization for someone to translate for them.”

Caller: “Oh… okay.”

Me: “So… shall I get the translator for say… Spanish?”

Caller: “Okay…”

Me: “Okay, I will put in the request, and they will be on the line in a few minutes. Are you okay to hold?”

Caller: “Sure, but wait… the translator, are they just to… uh… check the details, or can they do the whole call? The [service-related task]?”

Me: “They absolutely can. Would you like to be transferred to a qualified Spanish-speaking call center agent?”

Caller: “Heck yeah! This way I get to go play Mario!”

I don’t think the poor kid wanted to be on the call…