Customer: “Your sign is an outrage!”

Me: “What sign?”

Customer: “The sale sign! About the tomatoes!”

Me: “What’s wrong with the sale, ma’am?”

Customer: “Not the sale! The grammar! Read it!”

I walk over to our sale board and read the sign:

Sign: “Today’s sale! 25% on all cherry tomato’s!”

Me: “Oh! I see. It should be ‘tomatoes’ and not ‘tomato’s’.” *Laughs.* “That’s what happens when the manager writes a sign at 5 AM before he’s had his coffee.”

Customer: “That is no excuse! And by a manager no less! If your manager is unable to differentiate between the appropriate usage of singular possessive and plural, then they have no business being employed!”

Me: “Riiiight, well, I’ll go ahead and change that sign. Did you want to know where the cherry tomatoes were?”

Customer: “No, I do not want cherry tomatoes! I want to speak to the manager responsible for this outrage!”

I blink and call the manager over. After I have explained the customer’s complaint to him, he just stands there giving me an “are you serious?” look.

Manager: “Apologies, ma’am. I will correct the sign straight away.”

Customer: “That’s it?! That’s not the appropriate reaction from someone who has committed such an outrage!”

Manager: “Well, I am terribly sorry, ma’am. You are, of course, correct. I will make every effort to rectify this act of gross negligence post haste.”

Customer: “Are you mocking me?”

Manager: “Not at all, ma’am. You have called this an ‘outrage’, so I must respond in kind. Please do let me know if you spot any other egregious lapses in grammar throughout the store. I’ll be sure to tell the workers to place emergency seats in every aisle in case the shock causes you to feel faint.”

Customer: “I want to talk to your manager, now! You’re clearly overreacting and mocking my complaint!”

Manager: “Okay, ma’am, remember that you’re the one going apoplectic over an apostrophe, so let’s not be too quick to point out who is overreacting here.”

My manager grabs a Sharpie and corrects the sign on the sales whiteboard within seconds.

Manager: “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some real work I need to accomplish. If you wish to complain further, ma’am, a contact email can be found on our website. Good day.”

The manager stormed off, and so did the customer.

A few weeks later, the manager came over to me, laughing. The store manager had shown him the complaint email that Ms. Apostrophe had sent in, and she’d mixed up singular possessive and plural apostrophes twice in her long rant. 

The response to her had pointed this out, and she hadn’t replied.

Related:
Catapostrophe, Part 2
Catapostrophe